Women are insecure, too!

Imagine for a second that you're out running some errands, or studying in a library, or really anything – just going about your own business. You're involved with whatever it is you're doing, and out of nowhere a woman you've never seen starts talking to you. For the sake of argument, we'll say she's not very attractive. Not horrible, but not exactly the type you'd usually 'go after.' “Hi there, I just wanted to come tell you that I think you're cute,” is all she says.

...”What?” would probably be the first thing to go through your mind. Chances are, it would take you a couple hours to really comprehend what happened, and it would brighten up your entire day, don't you think? It wouldn't really matter to you that she wasn't the most attractive woman in the world; or even that you're not interested in her for whatever reason. It just feels good.

I think a big fear factor for a lot of guys trying to get themselves past this whole approach anxiety thing is being scared of how we might be received. Somehow, we seem convinced that telling a woman she's beautiful will make her slap us with her purse and call us a creep. Well, I don't know if you know this or not, but women are just as insecure as guys are. They primp and preen themselves, spend hours doing their hair and makeup, and try on dozens of outfits before they even leave their house. They want people to see them as beautiful, and hearing that from someone – especially a stranger – will make them feel like they're on top of the world.

Now, as much of a stretch as this may seem, imagine you hear how cute you are every day. You try going out with them on dates, and they're totally uninterested in learning about you, just trying to make due until dinner is over, or you're good and drunk, so they can try and get you into bed. Hey, that's not so bad, women want to fuck me everywhere I go, right? Don't you think that might get old? Maybe you'd feel kinda used, or shallow, or lacking in real value to people? I could very well be different from every other cock-driven guy out there, but I know I'd start to question myself there.

She's not just beautiful. She's a really cool chick. She writes some really interesting stories, or has a personality that brightens up an entire world, or maybe she's just got some really interesting views on the world that make for great conversation. She wants to know! Women don't just want to know that they're beautiful, they want to know that they're valuable.

It's not about whether you're going in with a direct “you're beautiful,” or an indirect question for directions; it's just showing her that you think she's valuable. Moreover, to have a successful approach, that you think she's valuable for more than just her looks. Even if, at the end of the interaction she tells you she's got a boyfriend or whatever else, she's not going to bite your head off. At the end of the day, she's gonna walk away feeling good about herself and really that's the best you can hope for.

Go out there and make her feel valuable, she's not gonna bite your head off. In fact, I'll bet she eats it up. You leave with a smile, she leaves with a smile, and everybody wins. Maybe you get a phone number, maybe you get an instant date, maybe you get an apology because she's taken; but at the end of the day you'll both walk away feeling great. Doesn't that make it worth it?