First Date

So, last night I went out on a date.  Not with someone I met through approaches, unfortunately, but with someone I met on an online dating site.  I hate admitting that I've even used one, but whatever - I met a cool chick cuz of it and that's that.

Anyways, we made spurt of the moment plans to go grab a coffee at a book store nearby, and spent the next 5 hours very slowly wandering and completely engrossed in conversation.  I was all proud of myself, putting every single thing I've been reading about to use.  I'd throw a compliment out there, then back it up with a joking insult.  Get her to open up by starting with "I" and then get a far more elaborate response.  Stood and sat beside her, slightly turned in, so I wasn't overbearing.  Followed the "let her love you" and opened up just enough to get the "awwww" but not enough to be the depressive sap.  The only thing I didn't get enough of was the kino and escalation, which I knew would be a problem for myself.

For the first half of the night I did nothing whatsoever.  My mind was focused elsewhere, and really I was more focusing on overcoming the conversational obstacles than anything else.  Right around the halfway point I was mentally congratulating myself for doing so awesome and I realized that there was that one thing that I hadn't been doing, so I decided I was gonna change that, even if barely.  Shortly thereafter, the opportunity presented itself, and "High Five!"  Worked like a charm.  Hell, later on in the night she even initiated one herself, which was awesome.

11pm and we both look down at our watches.  I'm shocked (both at the date, and the fact I gotta be up early the next morning) and we both suggest that it's getting late and keep talking.  11:30 we're still sitting, realize the time, and decide it's time to go.  We continue talking as I walk her to her car.  We stop there and keep chatting.

12:30 we finally part ways.  I give her a hug and kiss her on the cheek (still a pussy :-p) and she says "I'd give you a kiss but..." explaining her illness (she's been hiding coughs all night) and I take it as my opprtunity to save myself from being a pussy and tell her that's why I kissed her on the cheek instead.

Smooth operator.

Now, I was going to come on here and question how long to wait to talk to her again, what to say, etc; but as I left work, she beat me to it.  I looked at my cell and she had already texted me to say she had a great time.  I guess I was good ;-)

Fantasies

I have some of the greatest fantasies about being successful at this approaching thing. After every failed attempt to go out and talk to some women, I'll go back to a couple women I walked past and go over how the interaction I didn't persue should have gone.

Down where I'm moving, I only know a very small number of people - and they're all work related. After going out a couple of times with my boss and one of my coworkers they've rather quickly seen how very ballsless I am and have taken to making fun of me for it - which is both good and bad in their own respects.

I have this one fantasy interaction at a nearby mall that we go to go find some of the most gorgeous women in the state. We'll walk past a group of beautiful young women and my boss will challenge me to get a phone number. Being the type of person I am, and the way I can only assume I would be given some confidence, I say fine and go back and talk to them. I open with an "opinion" opener, say I've got a bet going with my boss about socks and sandals (or something equally stupid) because I keep giving him shit for wearing them. I play the cocky-funny and banter with them, building the attraction. I go to eject and get some contact info from one of them, and then just before I leave I kinda lean in and talk in a lower voice to one of them (not the one I got the contact info from) and give her the "my friend thinks you're hot, but is way too shy to do anything about it. could I get your number to give to him? I doubt he'll ever actually call. In fact, I'll bet you $20 he never calls." I figure something like that I'm bound to get a number, especially if I did the cocky-funny bit right earlier in the interaction. I eject, with 2 phone numbers. One for myself and one for my boss, and I tell him I was busting his balls there - just to get back at him a bit.

This is where I twist things a little. A couple days, or maybe a week later I get a text message from the second girl, simply saying "You owe me $20." I give her a call back a little later, find out that he did call, and then proceed to tell her to meet me for lunch to get her $20. Boom, now I've not only got a date with the girl I got the number from origianlly, but I've got the other girl going out with me too.

That's my goal right there. I don't care how anything goes after that point. I don't care if I'm getting laid, or if I'm getting any further than a date or two. I just want to be able to get that far, after that I know I can handle. I can do that. I know I can get that far. I can, and will, get that far.